Friday morning held much of the same, though my voice was a bit squeakier than the day before, rendering itself quite useless by lunchtime.  My lessons therefore consisted mostly of writing, listening to my teacher, and the occasional soft words from myself in an attempt to rest my throat and protect what was left of my voice.  Frustrating, yet still workable.

Saturday.  I woke to find myself completely without the ability to make sound.  Usually people will say “oh, I lost my voice,” yet they are still able to at least softly mutter these words themselves.  But for me?  No.  Nothing.  Absolutely nothing at all.

Unnerving.

I have never been to the point where a whisper, sounds only made by breath, are all that will willingly come forth from my mouth.  Needless to say, I had to cancel my lessons for the day, as it is pretty much impossible to have a one-on-one session in conversational Thai when one member of the party is unable to actually converse.  The funny thing was, though, that I still had to go to the school to cancel, because I had no voice to call it in!  Irony in some form, I suppose.

I spent the day mostly in silence, no longer even trying to communicate for fear of damaging what ever was already going on even further.  Fine, whatever, I’ll just stay home and let the Mr. make jokes about not being able to hear me.  No big deal, right?  But wait, I had wanted to go out to visit our neighbor at his fruit stand tonight and find out how he’d been while we were gone…  I’ll just make sure Brook is along so he can do the talking.  Perfect.

So, on our way out for supper Saturday night, we planned to stop by and visit with Thaweep, our older neighbor from across the road.  He was with a customer, so we opted to wait until after supper.  Eat, pay, finish, time to walk back home.  He was free when we passed the second time, and to his delight we stopped to visit with him.  He was all smiles and had questions ready for us about our trips and how everything had gone for us.  Trouble is, when he looked at me for a response, I didn’t quite know what to do.  I tried to use hand motions and mouth the words in Thai to him to explain that I had lost my voice, but it took Brook saying something to confirm the details for him.  He was instantly concerned for me, and began giving me tips (in Thai, of course) on how to soothe and remedy my situation.  He really is a kind man.  A few minutes later, he dismissed us as he deemed I needed to rest, and we said our goodbyes for the night.

There are times when I (ashamedly) will avoid seeing people as a result of my fear and lack of confidence in speaking Thai.  There are times when my anxiety over getting only so far in a conversation before my vocabulary runs out, then ending it an awkward and abrupt manner, keeps me from stepping out when I probably ought to.  Strangely, I thought this sudden illness could be my way out, a way for me to still be interacting with others, yet have an excuse not to say anything to embarrass myself.

But, this is one time where I really wanted to be able to speak.

I had the words.  I had the vocabulary and grammar structures.  I had the sentences and answers all right there running through my mind.  I had a friendly neighbor waiting to hear from me… but, I had no voice.

My ability to make sound is slowly returning this morning, though I still plan on resting my voice until school tomorrow.  I want it to heal properly and smoothly.  But, you better believe I’ll be going to visit our neighbor again to both thank him for his advice on how to get better, as well as to continue building the friendship we’ve started.  I think this was some strange sort of motivation for me to not hide my ability to speak anymore…

Thailand is known for having some of the most beautiful panoramas, brilliant sunsets, and excellent underwater sporting in the world.  We were blessed with some wonderful gifts from home to add to the money we’d already been saving ourselves for this short holiday, and as soon as we knew we had enough, we knew precisely where we wanted to go – Krabi.  Virtually every picture you see of Southern Thailand’s beaches, soaring cliffs, and spectacular sunsets come from Krabi and it’s surrounding islands (Koh Phi Phi, Koh Lanta, Koh Kai, etc.)… but, this time we were lucky enough to witness these scenes ourselves.

Sometimes, you don’t really know how badly you need a break until you’re finally there, and boy did we need a break.  Our bodies and minds had all but shut down by the end of our visa run in Malaysia (immediately prior to our week of holiday).  How wonderful it was when we finally arrived at Ao Nang and started thinking of the week we had ahead of us!  Now, some of you may already know a bit of what we did, how we enjoyed what was around us, as well as a few of the “adventures” we had along the way, but for those of you who don’t, I’m going to lay it out in bullet form for you.  Ready?  Ok.

• First afternoon, we arrived at our hotel in Ao Nang to find out we’d been given a complimentary room upgrade, and were very pleased with it.  Staying 10-15 minutes walking distance from the beach and using online pricing services allowed us to stay comfortably for quite cheap already, so this was a wonderful bonus!  Later, we enjoyed some great grilled chicken on the beach about a 20 minute walk down the road from our hotel.
• First full day was spent doing absolutely nothing at all on West Railay Beach.  Not far from Ao Nang, West Railay is a beautiful stretch of sand that is surrounded on 3 sides by sheer cliffs and jungle, making it accessible only by longtail boat.  Pure bliss.
• Day 2 we decided to hop on an all day tour of islands, famous bays, and hit a few snorkeling spots.  The fish were incredible, and the water was unbelievably clear.  We stopped at a couple of famous movie locations as well – the first was Phang Nga, known unofficially as “James Bond Bay,” as the 1974 Bond film The Man with the Golden Gun was shot there, and the other was Maya Bay where Leonardo DiCaprio’s film The Beach was made.
• The sand at Maya Bay was like baby powder, so white, so soft, so clean… and so deceptive.  Why?  It was here, in perhaps the most beautiful place I will ever visit in my life, that I kicked a tree root hidden in the sand, split my toe open, and lost an entire nail.  Ha!
• Days 3 & 4 were spent with me hugging the throne in our beautiful hotel bathroom.  Lucky me, I got a violent case of food poisoning (most likely from lunch on the tour the previous day), and was forced to stay inside while Brook was a good sport and took care of me.  We made a visit to a local doctor as soon as I was able to leave the room, and he filled me up with enough meds to get me better, back out to the beach and finally eating again.  Oh, and he cleaned about a pound of sand out of my busted toe, too.  But, the upside to all of this?  At least the bathroom I had to live in was 100 times nicer than the one we have in Lopburi, and it had a bathtub to relax my sick self in.  Good deal.
• Day 5 was back to Railay, lots of water and meds in hand, for another day of blissful nothingness.  I think we played about 3 hours of frisbee out in the water, not kidding.  It felt good to be back out in the sunshine relaxing, laughing, and having some fun with the Mr.
• Day 6 we took it easy in the morning and headed out for a sunset snorkel tour around 2pm.  This trip was far more relaxed and had much fewer people than the tour earlier in the week.  We jumped out in 3 different locations, very protected from the other tourist areas, so each was filled with colorful coral and vegetation and some of the most brilliantly hued sea creatures I have ever seen.  I even found Nemo!  One stop also had a cave where Brook, the experienced Scuba diver, guided me along and took me far under the water to see the giant schools of fish and sea urchins below.  I don’t think the snorkeling would have been quite as amazing as it was, had he not encouraged me to go under the water and go outside of what I though I could do.
• After several snorkel stops, sunset on a tiny uninhabited island, and delicious Thai green curry for supper with new friends, it was time for the bioluminecsence swim.  We were taken to another sandy-bottomed, protected area under some cliff overhangs after it had become completely dark.  Upon jumping in the water, we were instantly surrounded by tiny flickering blue orbs of light.  It was incredible!  (If you’ve seen the movie Avatar, think of how the jungle lit up at night.)  With every movement I made, thousands of these tiny blue sparkles (actually a species of plankton) appeared in the dark ocean water surrounding me.  It was almost as if I was wearing them.  Even more incredible was when I put on my mask, and looked down into the blackness below and saw my legs glowing.  (And yes, for a brief moment I pretended I was Ariel when she was turning from a mermaid into a human… and that is still my favorite Disney cartoon!)
• Our last morning, we slept in, packed up, and took our last chance to sit and chat with the Thai staff at our hotel.  They were more than accommodating to us and took great care to check in on me when I was ill.  It’s amazing to see what knowing how to speak Thai and actually interact with people can do when you travel.

So, there you have it.  Our week of rest was wonderful, even despite my little speedbumps.  We both were able to get a great deal of rest, as well as spend some time just enjoying one another again.  Between all the stresses of language learning, support budgeting, daily cultural adjustments, the busy holidays/ministry season that just passed, and all else, it’s easy to lose each other in all that mess.  This was kind of the honeymoon we wished we’d been able to have a few years ago, and I am ever so thankful for it.

Now, back to daily life.  Back to language study.  Back to learning how to live our lives here in Thailand.  And soon, it’s time to travel again!

Here’s some shots from my Flickr of our trip in Southern Thailand.  For captions, please view the set at my actual Flickr page.

Today was evidence of that.

We had just received our meals at a local street vendor’s shop (similar to the photo above, but with more tables).  Having frequented this particular location over the past 5 months, the owners usually know what we would like to order before we even say it.  We are familiar with one another, and each time we appear, we try to speak with them in Thai just a little bit more.  Today was a day just like any other – walk in, smile, greet one another, and confirm their suspicion as to what we would like to eat.  Next, we chose one of two regular tables, sat down and ordered our beverages.  Wait another 5 minutes or so, and our plates with a piping hot Thai meal are served to us with the traditional bowl of broth and cilantro.  Yum.  But wait, they forgot the sauce… that’s ok, because there’s usually a bottle on the table right behind us.  Scoot the stool back a couple of inches, turn around, reach and grab the bottle.  Proceed to deliver it to Brook, and all is well.

That’s how it usually happens.  But, today?  Oh, today!

This is what I was sitting on, as I do in almost every single street shop or market stall we dine at (though mine was actually royal blue, and lacked those spiffy horizontal reinforcement bars).  Usually, they do their job in keeping one seated at the table, rather than under it, but today my stool failed me.  As I scooted ever so gently backwards, everything went wrong.  You know how people sometimes say that disasters seem to happen in slow motion?  Well, this disaster actually did, and there was nothing at all I could do about it!  As I scooted, the back 2 legs of this rickety old seat buckled inward beneath me, causing me to go straight down to the floor – thankfully, since they bent, I didn’t go totally backwards though!  I felt them bending, could tell I was going down, and was utterly helpless as I watched Brook’s face go into a sudden half shock – half laugh sort of look.

The bustling shop went silent.

So, what does this taller-than-the-average-Thai, blonde-haired, blue-eyed, white-skinned foreigner dressed in a flowing black skirt and beads do in such a situation (not to mention in a very face-saving culture)?  Stand up quickly, silently, and gracefully (of course to compensate for the lack of earlier charm).  Then proceed to quickly brush off my skirt, turn around to face the people, put up my hands and say “whoopsie” to release them all to laugh freely.  And they did.  One of the ladies that worked there came and took my old stool to the back of the shop, supplying me with a new one so I could return to my meal safely.

And what do I find Brook doing as I finally collect myself once more and take my seat?  Typing on his iPhone.  Yep, he was tweeting about his wife, the one who is a master at being inconspicuous.  Oh wait.

I couldn’t help but continue laughing as I ate my lunch as I thought about how every person in there would likely go home tonight and tell everyone about the “farang” who fell out of her chair reaching for the chili sauce on another table.

It’s even more peculiar to realize that I am now old enough to clearly remember things that have happened a whole decade ago… and even before!  Sure, working at an elementary school for the past 3 years has made me have plenty of “am I really that old now?” moments, listening to the kids talk and then telling them my own stories of when I was their age.  Growing up sure is a strange animal, and it’s had its clear ups and even clearer downs.  But, I don’t believe I would give any of it away.

As I sit here thinking of all that has occurred in the past 10 years, it amazes me.  There’s been a lot -

1. I lost my Father in April of 2000.
2. I stood in my brother’s wedding.
3. I graduated from high school.
4. I played collegiate soccer.
5. I went overseas for the first time, and rang in the New Year 2004 while on a mission trip in Ghana, West Africa.
6. I held my nephew for the very first time.
7. I lived on my own for 2 months in war-torn Liberia, West Africa.
8. I spent 6 1/2 months living and studying in Thailand.
9. I graduated from Huntington University.
10. I got married.
11. I held my niece for the very first time.
12. I got my first car (it’s true, I never had one before getting married!).
13. I had my first full-time job (plus a few part-timers).
14. I had my first puppy… and was devastated giving her away when we moved.
15. I did all kinds of renovations on my first home with Brook.
16. We designed & renovated half of an entire church building, then launched KidStuf for the first time ever at our church.
17. I went on my first cruise.
18. I’ve met TONS of people through speaking in churches and building up a team of supporters for Thailand.
19. I moved to the opposite side of the globe – Thailand.
20. We’ve dealt with the pain of not being there for Brook’s first niece being born.
21. I’ve learned to speak, read, & write a completely new language.
22. We had our first Christmas & New Year’s away from loved ones.

I know there are so many more things, and if you know me well, you already know what they are.  These are just some of the big things that first come to mind as I look back at the last decade, and wonder what all will come next.

So, what will the next stretch hold for Brook & I?  Well, the plan is to be in Thailand for 10 years, and we’ve only got about 5 months of that knocked out so far.  But, what else will there be?  New cities, new faces, new ministries, new family members, new believers, trips back home, all kinds of good, and surely rough times as well.  It may seem a bit overwhelming right now to think of what our lives will do and where they will go, but I’m very thankful to have Brook by my side, loving family back home, and the support of friends who care about us.

Do you have any hopes or dreams for the next decade?

Until today.

It took everything within me to keep the tears from streaming down my face, though a few managed to escape my grip, as we began with Amazing Grace. Through the first 2 verses, I was filled with excitement, knowing I could use my new skills in reading Thai script to sing along with everyone else. It wasn’t until we began the 3rd, that I heard my husband’s voice beside me, singing in the language of those whom we’ve come to serve, that I became overwhelmed with such an intense mix of emotions, that my voice left me. If one more note were to come out of my mouth, I feared losing control of my eyes and what would come out of them… and in a face-saving culture, I needed to keep them at bay. As I listened through the next verse, I tried to sort out the combination of joy, sorrow, confusion, victory, and a sense of being reunited with my God and myself.

Joy for joining my own voice with those of the believers in Thailand in their songs of praise, in their mother tongue, in their house this morning. Sorrow for those who are yet to experience this sort of peace and joy which only comes from knowing their Creator. Confusion as I attempted to sort out these feelings and not become overwhelmed by the thought of how long it has been since I’ve been able to do such a thing. Victory for having learned how to read well enough that I could follow along at the same speed as the melodies with which we were singing. And a sense of being reunited with both God and my own self, in that today I was able to lift my praise to Him in one voice with Thai believers, in a way that I hold very dear – music.

As a few tears managed to make their way down my cheeks, I was reminded again that this is why we are here. This is why God brought us to Thailand. This is why we are studying the Thai language for an entire year before going out into full-time ministry among the Thai people. We are being trained. We are being molded. We are being prepared so we can not only communicate as best we can with the people of Thailand in their own heart language, but be able to share the peace, joy, and grace that come with knowing God. The time we have right now to learn, to observe, to do all we can to truly understand the nation in which we live is a gift…

a gift that we will be able to use to bring hope and forgiveness to the Thai people from a position of one who cares enough to learn about who they are first.

Today was incredible…

I had this idea for a detailed post telling you just what it was like to see part of my family for the first time in 4 months, via Skype, from the opposite side of the world… but, in all honestly, words cannot truly describe.  It was wonderful.

Hard to imagine what it was like for my parents when they were missionaries in a very remote fishing community in Alaska in the 1970’s-80’s before e-mail, Facebook, Skype, blogging, and more affordable/reliable phone service…

Today marks the birthday of two very important boys in my life, and seeing as I can only be with one of them today, I thought I’d write a special blog post about them.  We’ll start with the youngest, my nephew Carson, because he’s the one I won’t be able to see today.

I remember when Carson was born 6 whole years ago on October 28!  I made sure I was home in Illinois that weekend, since I was studying at Huntington University in north-central Indiana at that time.  He was born a little early since he was such a big boy, and since his birth was scheduled, I knew I couldn’t miss it!  That made me happy.  Even neater was the fact that I knew he and his Uncle Brook would always share a birthday from then on out.

Anyways, I remember the time getting closer and closer to when I had to leave the hospital and head back to school, but we still couldn’t see him yet.  Waiting, waiting, waiting… looking at the incredible little baby boy through the nursery window, wondering when or if I’d even be able to touch him before I had to go.  You can imagine how worried I was that I wouldn’t get to meet this little boy that I had just only seen for the first time… But, then, my brother, the new proud father, announced I would be the first one to hold him (other than his new parents of course!) after he had been brought to their room.  Before the grandparents, before the friends, before the other family!  I seriously broke down crying when Tim put him in my arms.  Who knew you could instantly love someone so very much?

It’s been wonderful to see Carson grow up into such a fine young man.  He is very smart, loves to draw, is kind, conversational, has a good imagination, is handsome, and just an all-around great kid.  He was the ring bearer in Brook & I’s wedding just over 3 years ago, and I’ll never forget that squeaky hamburger he carried down the aisle with him.  (I hope that makes you laugh, Carson!)  He loves to fish and go canoeing with his dad, my brother Tim.  He is always interested in new things, and I can see him doing great things as he grows even more.

I wish Uncle Brook & I could be there to give you big birthday hugs and eat cake & ice cream with you!  I wish you all the best things in this next year, and I pray that God would keep you safe, teach you more, and let you keep becoming the wonderful boy that you are!  I love you, Carson!

The other birthday boy, is of course, my husband Brook.  Brook and I first met October 4th, 2002 at Huntington University.  Yes, I’m a female, and I am allowed to remember things like that.  I had made a commitment between myself and God not to date anyone during high school, rather to focus on academics and service from those 4 years through the first semester of college.  Then, there he was, visiting a mutual friend on campus (he attended elsewhere at that point), and we hit it off right away.  I couldn’t believe this guy I’d met… We didn’t see each other again for exactly 2 weeks, and I couldn’t get him off my mind in the meantime, so all I could do was pray.  Had God honored my previous commitment, and brought me someone at just the right time?  It appeared so, and the story only goes on from there.

We’ve been through life together for the last 7 years, married for just over 3, and I am thankful for every one of them.  Brook’s passion for music and anything that has to do with it was the first thing that brought us together.  I still enjoy singing with him, or simply listening to him play his guitar (especially when he doesn’t even know I’m listening).  He has this drive, this determination, to learn new things and do them well.  He has this ability to go out and meet new people, unafraid.  He has become a good teacher, preacher, and friend to others.  He makes an impact wherever he goes.  He tries very hard at whatever he does, and if he doesn’t succeed at first, he tries even harder the second time.  He is my best friend, and my companion on this journey in life (cheesy, I know, but true), and I wouldn’t want to face Thailand without him.

I love you, Brook.  And I pray that this next year you would flourish here in Thailand, that God would continue to bless our marriage to one another, that we would only continue to grow together and love one another as much as one can.  I thank God for you, for your determination, your love of life, your passion for this work in Thailand, and most of all that you are mine.  :)

How blessed I am for these 2 boys being a part of my life!  Happy Birthday!!!!

*For outtakes of our birthday photos among 13th century temple ruins, visit my Facebook page (will be uploaded as soon as the internet allows!)*

I know Thailand isn’t what we would generally refer to as “home” yet. But, in order to make this thing we’re doing viable long-term, we need to feel like it is. There’s no sense in feeling like you’re constantly on the move, or just visiting, right? Right. We’re trying to become “at home” with where we are, trusting God to take care of our every day and every need. So, this is where we are.

When moving to another country (sometimes even with a long visit), there are certain stresses a person will experience. There is a certain loss of identity as you are no longer an expert on your surroundings. Everyday tasks from back home seem to take twice as long here, because you either don’t know where you’re going, or you simply don’t have the right words to communicate what you need. Groceries may be sold in baskets on the side of the road rather than in a neat, clean, well-lit supermarket. Or, you may not even be able to find food items that you can either identify or know what to do with! Depending on the country to which you have travelled, your level of language is likely no longer that of an adult, rather you are again like a child learning to speak. Can you even read the letters or characters with which your new language is written? You know that store sells laundry detergent, but does the label on that package say it’s for use on colors or is it bleach? Do you know what a good price is for vegetables, linens, or car parts sold in the open-air market?

That’s a lot to take in all at once. But, we’re doing it. Each day, we become more and more familiar with our surroundings. Each day, we recognize more and more people on the streets, inside shops, and selling in the market stalls. Each day, we gather new words and try our best to use them until they become a part of our natural vocabulary. And, each day, we have both dramatic successes and gross failures. This is what we asked for, and it is what we’ve got… and despite the headaches, the fatigue, and momentary lapses of homesickness, we do love it. Each day we come just a little bit closer to feeling “at home.”

An important part of adjusting to life in a new culture, for me, is having a safe place – a place to call my own. Up until this weekend, Brook and I were living in a one-room temporary setting at a local youth hostel. One room, one bathroom, no kitchen… no other rooms. That was in some ways very hard for me. I could not decorate, I could not fully unpack my bags, I had nowhere to release stress creatively by “nesting.” I had no table even for eating or writing.  I also lacked another outlet for frustration, that being a kitchen. I love to cook, bake, create… I wouldn’t say the situation was physically rough, as the room was bright and relatively clean, kept us cool inside and safe from the rain, and we had become friends with some of the workers. No, it wasn’t that bad of a place, but it was mentally and emotionally hard for me to live there. After all, who really wants to go back to living in a dorm, but this time, with your husband as your roommate? (I expect you to laugh here.)

Well, after waiting patiently and making do with what we were given, a house finally opened up. This past weekend, Brook and I moved our belongings over to a small place just down the road from the youth hostel where we were already living. And guess what, it has more than one room! We are now in what could be considered an old-style traditional Thai rowhouse, in a lower-middle class community. We have a unit near the middle of the road, with neighbors all around. The house itself is roughly the size of a one and a half car garage, with an upstairs, but it’s still rather comfortable. We have a small gated patio, a living room area, a kitchen off the back, a bathroom, a laundry room, and 2 bedrooms. What in the world are we going to do with all of this space? Enjoy it. Settle in. Have people over to visit. The possibilities are endless!

So, this is where we’ll be until our year of language study is complete. Then, it will be time to move on and find another place to call home… but for now, this is where we are.

If you’d like to see more photos of our home, including what it’s like inside, please visit my photo album on Facebook.

But…

I was shown a small baking goods store in a local market by a seasoned missionary in this region.  I was given the keys to a new friend’s home while they are away for the weekend.  Said friend has a kitchen… and an oven.  You can imagine how happy I was to put all of these things together.  Oh yes.  So, tonight, I made Snickerdoodles at the request of my husband, Brook.

Here is why I count this as such a victory tonight.  This is the oven I have to use.  It is quite simple and may be considered a bit primitive by those of you in the States.  It has only a knob to turn it on or off, and in between it has a gauge similar to that on the front of a gas grill.  The tank you see to the right is the propane which fuels the range.  Thankfully, I had a small thermometer sitting on the rack inside to help me figure out just how hot it was inside…

The first round came out a wee bit darker than I wanted, but not actually burnt.  Good.  They tasted more like caramelized sugar on the bottom rather than burning.  Good.  Second round came out a wee bit better, golden on the bottom.  Then, the 3rd and 4th round came out perfect.  Same color on the top and bottom of the cookies.  Yes!  Now, some of you may, great she can bake.  But seriously, I had to sit there and watch the cookies, opening the door and closing the door of the oven to adjust the temperature as needed.  The really funny part though, was that I had to stand just outside the kitchen doorway to watch the cookies, with a large fan blowing straight on me since the temp of the house was already around 90 degrees, and a 400 degree oven, of course, will alter temperature a wee bit…  Ha.  I love it.

So here’s the finished product.   A few dozen lovely little Snickerdoodles.  Yum.  I only made a small amount since I didn’t know if I would be able to figure out the oven tonight, and didn’t want to waste any dough.  Now I know I can do it.  Now I know I can get a little piece of me back.  And now Brook knows he’s going to get cookies in Thailand after all!

Now, how many of you have ever lived overseas?  I’m not talking about a visit, a vacation, a short-term mission trip (not that any of those experiences are any less valuable, I’m just working for conversation sake right now), I’m talking about really living day-to-day in a foreign land.  If you have, then you’ll truly understand what I mean when I say that living in another culture is really quite difficult, and yet so rewarding.  Everyday tasks seem to take much longer.  Every location seems so far away and confusing to get to.  Life just gets… different.  It almost seems as if I am a child again, wandering around listening to the grown-ups talk about certain things, unable to understand them myself, and the only thing I can do is wait until I’ve grown enough to also be a part of the conversation.  I am learning how to live all over again.

But, it’s ok.

Among all the joys and stresses of moving to Thailand, there is one (of a small collection) thing that I am able to hold onto… and that would be music.  I am so grateful to my mom for always singing, playing music, encouraging my brother and I to be creative, for giving us a love and appreciation for all types of music.  As a child, my mom took me to piano lessons, put me in choirs and musicals, and was always there to support me.  Even when I complained about practicing scales, or as my skills developed I drove the teachers nuts with my desire to play by ear rather than the page, she encouraged me to keep going.  I now have this gift I carry around with me that can give me joy at any time, through any trial, and break any bonds of stress I may have.

These past few months have been exhausting.  The first days in Thailand were freeing, yet still a bit stressful as I tried to remember everything I had learned living here before… and then I found it.  There it was, shiny and black, clean and well-tuned (a surprise considering this climate!), waiting in a big open room, surrounded by walls of glass, with a beautiful breeze.  Just for me.  A Yamaha upright piano in the meeting room at the OMF Bangkok Home where we are staying.  Anyone who knows me, also knows that my ideal place to play would be in an open room with lots of open windows and a light echo.  So, of course, I played.  I played for perhaps an hour or so, windows open, music flying through the air all about the compound, and for that hour I played, I felt free.  For the hour I played, I was able to release all my worry and stress through my fingers on the keys.  For that hour I played, I was able to both rejoice in and use the gift I have to bless others.

And for that hour I played, I was happy.  :)