Sara Sarver

It is infinitely impossible to describe what ran through me this Sunday morning when I discovered I was singing along during worship in our small church of Thai believers. Churchgoers, you know the drill – the music starts, you look at the screen, you read it and sing along. For the past 4 months, I have longed to do this. For the past 4 months I have studied in order to do this. For the past 4 months, I have sat in church utterly disconnected, confused, and lucky if I can recognize whatever tune is being played and scrounge up the English words in my mind, only to sing them quietly to myself so as to not draw any attention and allow worship in the Thai language to flow continuously around me. For 4 months, I haven’t really worshiped, in one voice with the believers around me, the One who created it all…

Until today.

It took everything within me to keep the tears from streaming down my face, though a few managed to escape my grip, as we began with Amazing Grace. Through the first 2 verses, I was filled with excitement, knowing I could use my new skills in reading Thai script to sing along with everyone else. It wasn’t until we began the 3rd, that I heard my husband’s voice beside me, singing in the language of those whom we’ve come to serve, that I became overwhelmed with such an intense mix of emotions, that my voice left me. If one more note were to come out of my mouth, I feared losing control of my eyes and what would come out of them… and in a face-saving culture, I needed to keep them at bay. As I listened through the next verse, I tried to sort out the combination of joy, sorrow, confusion, victory, and a sense of being reunited with my God and myself.

Joy for joining my own voice with those of the believers in Thailand in their songs of praise, in their mother tongue, in their house this morning. Sorrow for those who are yet to experience this sort of peace and joy which only comes from knowing their Creator. Confusion as I attempted to sort out these feelings and not become overwhelmed by the thought of how long it has been since I’ve been able to do such a thing. Victory for having learned how to read well enough that I could follow along at the same speed as the melodies with which we were singing. And a sense of being reunited with both God and my own self, in that today I was able to lift my praise to Him in one voice with Thai believers, in a way that I hold very dear – music.

As a few tears managed to make their way down my cheeks, I was reminded again that this is why we are here. This is why God brought us to Thailand. This is why we are studying the Thai language for an entire year before going out into full-time ministry among the Thai people. We are being trained. We are being molded. We are being prepared so we can not only communicate as best we can with the people of Thailand in their own heart language, but be able to share the peace, joy, and grace that come with knowing God. The time we have right now to learn, to observe, to do all we can to truly understand the nation in which we live is a gift…

a gift that we will be able to use to bring hope and forgiveness to the Thai people from a position of one who cares enough to learn about who they are first.

Today was incredible…